Everyone is talking about the new movie ‘Brave’, so today’s topic will be about being Brave to ask for referrals; and how to do it.

We all know that referrals are the best way to get a new client, but many times we patiently wait for people to ‘get back to us’ when they think of someone…have you heard that one before?  I learned to stop waiting and start getting more pro-active.  I’d like to share with you why people say they can’t think of any referrals for you when you ask.

You will learn here how to ask for referrals so people will less often say, ‘I can’t think of anyone, but I’ll let you know’….usually they think of 10 people the next day and send those referrals to you right?  yeah, me neither.

After I asked so many people if ‘they know anyone else I might be able to help’ and they looked at me with a glazed over look and after staring into space they usually say, ‘uhhhh, you know, I can’t think of anyone right now, but, I…I’ll let you know’

After doing this again and again, I was really hesitant to even ask, because I knew what they were going to say…have you ever felt that way?  Well let me share with you how to solve this right here, right now.

The reason people can think of anyone is because it’s said the average adult knows 250 people, even if you don’t think you know 250 people because that seems like a lot, I guarentee if you won the lottery tomorrow, the new 35 Million dollar winner you’d have at least 250 people chasing you down saying they were closer to you than your own parents.

Here is another example to get you to raise one eye brow:  Remember the unabomber?

He was a secluded creepy guy that always kept to himself.  After he was caught the police went around town questioning everyone and they had over 120 people that gave claims they knew his habits, seen him around, had brief social interactions.  If the unabomber has 120 casual acquaintances then any normal person in society especially with how easy it is to keep in touch with people on Facebook has 250 contacts; not people you have to dinner parties, just people you know and who know you….yep, they count too.  I’m challenging you today to think more about strengthening your existing connections.


So if most people can recognize at least 250 people when you ask, ‘who do you know’, they have 250 blurry nameless, faceless people in their head and can’t think of anyone.  Just like asking on the spot for a good joke, you can’t think of one usually.

The way you get around this is to narrow it down, and if you are asking for a referral you should know a little something about this person.  One example, I have a professional friend that we happen to also go to church together, but we rarely see each other there because we the church is large and we attend a different service, so we don’t really bump into each other there.

So, in asking for referrals I would ask first permission if he would recommend a few people to me [we can cover that more in another topic for how to do that]….when you go to church do you normally sit my the same few people or do you sit by someone different people every time?  He says, ‘yeah, I usually have a few buddies I sit with’

See now, he as 3-4 faces people in his mind.  I would ask, ‘who are the guys you normally sit with?’

he says, ‘I sit with John, Kelly, and Steve’, and after asking a few more questions, I may ask if he feels they would be good people for me to meet or if I could help them in a specific area.  After he agrees, I’d ask for help in introductions.

If you add value to people first, respect them and put relationships first, most people are willing to help and want to see you succeed.

Is that awesome or what?   Take a minute now and write the names down of 3 people that may know the type of people that would be good referrals for you, write those names down in your planner for Monday

Let me know if this helps you

post a comment here with the new response you get

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Author: Jeremy C. Jones

About Jeremy: Military veteran, family man, entrepreneur. Has a passion for coaching people to find their greatness, achieve more personal and financial freedom, and he strives to make a positive impact on other people every day. He can be reached at info@AskJeremyJones.com or Connect with Jeremy on Facebook or Twitter

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