We all like to get a compliment, we know we should compliment others but when building rapport with potential customers or business associates we don’t want to sound like we are flattering them and have it be insincere, we all get turned off by flattery. Today we’ll go over a few simple steps on how you build a connection with people by giving sincere compliments in 4 steps.
Complimenting others is a great way to build rapport, but if we are conscious of it we may feel fake. Just think of it this way, if someone finds something genuine they compliment you on don’t you feel good? Regardless of who they are. Chances are good that even your close family doesn’t compliment you and recognize you for your strengths. So when you compliment others you are adding value to them, regardless if you plan to do it ahead of time or not. So how do you compliment others and do it sincerely?
1. Connect: I’ve noticed something that’s really interesting about you [pause]
Give some time to let them know you have something you’d like to tell them; don’t just jump right in
2. Compliment: Go ahead and mention something positive about them, be sincere and give a specific example such as: “I notice that everyone around you really respects you; people seem to see you as a leader” Be sure to be sincere about that, if you do see those qualities in them
3. Specific: If you haven’t already, be sure your compliment is something specific about them; generic compliments are loud sirens and red flags of flattery, “you are an awesome person” can be a compliment, but it’s to generic.
4. Ask a question: Asking them a question about what you’ve complimented them on lets them know that you care to know how they came to have this good quality. I’ll give two examples here.
Example A. Compliment physically
“Can I mention something I’ve noticed about you?”
“yes of course”
“I noticed you always have a classy way of presenting yourself, the effort you put into your wardrobe is really impressive, I really like the shoes you have on today. Where did you get them?”
[note: notice how different that is than, “I like your shoes”.]
Click LIKE if you would prefer a 4 step compliment instead of flattery.
Example B: Compliment on qualities
“Can I mentions something I’ve noticed about you?”
“yes of course”
“People seem to be drawn to you like a magnet, you really have a way of working with people. How did you get the skills you have in working with people, has it come naturally to you or is it something you worked on?”
[note: many people don’t get complimented on their abilities, people want to be recognized and noticed and it will help strengthen relationships when people see you recognize the best in them]
I enjoy bringing out the best in people, showing them respect and offering respect first expecting nothing in return.
We can all do our part to bring basic respect and values into our every day interaction with people. I think this is a lost art that is diluted because of the negative drama and how television sitcoms make humor out of putting people down, criticizing others and being rude to one another.
If you would like to know more about how to work with Respect Global or want to help build awareness for this important cause leave a comment below.